Developing a Growth Mindset
We’ve all heard the saying ‘Mindset is Everything’, but what exactly does that mean? Perhaps you can you think of a time when you withdrew or backed away from trying something because you thought there is no way I can do this? Or maybe another time where you felt discouraged by your own thoughts and it led directly to impacting your behavior and the choices you made? Mindset is a very powerful thing. Essentially, it encompasses our thoughts, feelings and beliefs and has a direct impact on how we behave, the choices we make, and the actions we eventually do or don’t take. Take a moment to consider if you can identify any self-limiting beliefs that have been part of your personal narrative. What did you say or think to yourself? A fixed mindset is when we become entrenched in those self-limiting thoughts and beliefs to the point where it impacts our belief in our own ability to change and makes us feel like we don’t have control. It can be a pretty powerful thing when you consider that this type of inflexible thinking might significantly impact the choices we make in all areas of our life.
I’ll share a personal example. From a very early age I can recall thinking that I am no good at sports. The self-limiting belief I carried around for most of my life was that if I tried I would end up looking stupid, because I’m not coordinated, I’m weak, I’m not outgoing enough, I don’t have a ‘competitive’ bone in my body, etc. etc., because when I boiled it down I did not think I could be as good as everyone else. When I thought about playing sports I would experience quite intense feelings of fear, anxiety, envy and discouragement leading to avoidance. After all, why would I want to participate in an activity that made me feel such awful things and further increased my thoughts of ‘not being good enough’. This quickly became a story I just routinely told myself, ‘you’re not good at sports’. I developed a fixed mindset about my abilities in one particular domain which actually impacted the way I started to feel about a lot of other ‘group’ activities. I decided it was best to stick to things where I wouldn’t “stand out”. Standing out, after all, was for the people who are good at things and I had decided to be ‘mediocre’.
Is this a story you can identify with? Are there beliefs you’ve carried around about yourself that you can recognize prevented you from doing something or placed barriers in certain areas of your life? It can be pretty strong stuff, but our minds don’t have to stay fixed. Growth mindset is the opposite of fixed mindset in that it is the belief that we can learn, grow, build skills and be in control…..annnnnnnnd….it is something we can develop. We can develop a growth mindset, and push past limiting beliefs, through challenge! That’s right, facing…overcoming…and learning from challenge teaches our mind that we are capable of growth. It is not something that changes overnight, but with time and practice, it grows and gets easier everytime to face those challenges and see the potential beyond them.
So the person who didn’t play sports because she believed “i’m not good at sports”. What do you think happened when she decided to just give it a try anyway? Countless times in my previous work in recreation and athletics I encountered individuals who, for one reason or another, decided they would try to do the thing that scared them even if they might not be good at it, even if everyone else doing it might be better. And the result, turns out this mysterious ‘talent’ that we think pushes some people to the front of the line is a very teeny tiny infinitesimal part of being good at something…like 99.5% of it is practice…it’s literally just doing the darn thing over and over again.
Book Recommendation: Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
…and you know what? It also turns out that even if you’re not good at something right away or ever, it can still be fun! Dang. Sometimes success isn’t being the best at something, but having the best time doing something. I have had the pleasure of meeting many many people who in their middle to late years now call themselves ‘athletes’ because they discovered the joy of doing it, and that with practice it got easier and even more enjoyable, and in the end all the thoughts they had about how much they suck were garbage. You build evidence against those thoughts by giving yourself proof, and you can’t develop proof without action.
Here are my top five recommendations for starting your journey toward a growth mindset:
Consider all the times in your life you have already overcome a challenge. What did you learn from this? What skills or strengths did you develop? Was it perfect right out of the gate or did it take time? Can you think of something that wasn’t easy at first, but overtime you experienced growth?
What are your limiting beliefs? Write them out. Look at them. Consider all the ways these beliefs have held you back. What have you wanted to do but not done because of these beliefs?
Set a challenge for yourself. Is there something you have held yourself back from that has meaning for you? What would it feel like if you could see yourself on the other side of that challenge? Start building a plan with small incremental goals. (Ex. I wanted to play disc golf. I am not good at disc golf. What would it take for me to become good at disc golf? Practice. I set goals to learn from others (take a lesson, join a league, watch instructional videos). I set another goal to play more regularly. I made it fun by rewarding myself with nice discs to play with and getting to know more people who play).
Grit. Hold on. Recognize when you are encountering obstacles and stay determined to work through them. Remember, if you are automatically super duper awesome at tackling your challenge than it probably wasn’t an actual challenge. Remind yourself, challenges have obstacles but practice and perseverence is how we get to the other side.
Look for feedback. Often we are the worst at seeing our own successes. Feedback from others can help us find where we still have room to grow and where we have already grown. It can help us adjust our goals to get even better at what we are trying to achieve and can also encourage us by helping us see more clearly what we have already learned.
