Hello Doubt, My Old Friend…
Doubt is natural. It’s part of being human to have moments where you question yourself, experience low confidence or feel uncertain. I’m sure doubt has slipped each one of us a little note from time to time that saved us from embarrassment or failure, but we’ll never know now will we because we didn’t try. That’s the catch. Sometimes doubt steps in, and instead of just being a passing thought or concern, it creeps its way into our thoughts so insidiously that we start to believe it, to put up walls, to set limitations and build borders that may not have been necessary. Doubt, in all its uninformed wisdom, can create a pattern where we start to hold back, limit our choices, accept less, aim low, believe when things don’t work out that it was what we deserve, assume failure is the natural conclusion of any effort, and begin to feel like we’re not worth…the job, the joy, the love…
It’s harder to tackle doubt when it runs deeper, the grooves of the thoughts embedded into a well-worn comfortable pattern. Doubt feels safe. It feels like it’s protecting you from inevitable failure. It feels like, with doubt by your side, you will never have to face another day of mucking it all up. You will. Failure, like doubt, is also human. Some say failure is a necessary step toward success. The people who say that are usually experts at failing and are also, probably in some way successful. They are the irritating people in motivational stories and quotes who have seemingly overstepped doubt, like the doormat it is, to just do the damn thing anyway. They are the people who played the sport, applied for the job when they only had half the qualifications, went on the date even though it was a bad hair day and nothing they wore felt right, and showed up despite the little voice saying, “you cannot do this, buddy”.
Which begs the question, how do we tackle doubt and get to be one of the people just doing the damn thing? First, we must identify it and call it out. We must name how it makes us feel, how it makes us think, how it changes the very posture of our bodies. Then (brace yourself) we must accept it. Yep. Acceptance. Accept that just about everyone, including the person you think looks so confident, is probably worried they’ll screw it all up. Accept that doubt is universal, natural, and only useful in a very very very limited way. Let doubt be the pause button that gives you space to examine the evidence around you, but don’t let doubt be the lead investigator.
